Pardon My Post Partum-Part 2 of 2

So, you know the stereotype of the typical "crazy" person?  The one where the crazy person's running down the street naked in the dead of winter yelling "Merry Christmas"?...I kid you not, this man was on my floor!!!  One of the teachers I team taught with called my room to see how I was and asked, "you're not going around yelling Merry Christmas are you?"...I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...I replied, "I'm not, but there is some crazy son of a bitch doing that very thing right outside my room as we speak" (pardon my use of "crazy"..who was I to speak)...This poor old man was naked except for an adult diaper and got pissed if you removed the Polaroid of him dressed in a Santa hat from the door to his room.   Most of the patients however, didn't fit the stereotype; they weren't rocking themselves back to sanity or glazed over in a catatonic state...many of them looked like you and me.

Regardless of most patients' "normal" appearance, the gloom of depression, attempted suicide, and unpredictable outbursts, lingered behind their eyes and permeated the ward.  I have to admit I was terrified...terrified of my future, losing my mind, losing my child, losing the respect of my family, friends, and co-workers, and honestly...terrified of my suite mate..she grunted a lot:/.  Thankfully, after two days of a full night's sleep and evaluation, I was discharged with a new prescription, and a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist who oversaw the psych department.

Though I'm sure the anti-depressant I was on helped quite a bit, the fact of the matter is I felt almost entirely different just after getting two nights of good sleep during my stay...I'd been running on fumes for four months!  Even now, I feel the anxiety and moodiness creep up if I go too long without a descent night's sleep.

So, I'd made it out alive and still, relatively sane;).  I was home and with help from my mom and additional daycare hours, I was able to get a break and some respite.  My loneliness was improving as I'd reconnected with a college friend who had young children as well.  Time with her helped tremendously.  Finally, I was spending time with a fun and witty girlfriend who also happened to be a mom...so many mom's I'd met were very nice but other than talking about our children, we had very little in common.

Unfortunately, while the burden of panic began to shed, the my appetite and ultimately weight, packed on.  Within a year, I'd put on 60-70 pounds...seriously...a super model...I'd gained an entire super model...what the hell?!!

This is me and my big guy...I was beginning the process of dropping pounds.

 This is me less than 2 years later...