No Fatty-Graphs Please!

Looking through my computer and Facebook files for photos of me isn't an easy task...there aren't many.  For the last 10 years, I've avoided the camera.  I've spent vacations with my children, family celebrations, birthdays, holidays, and important life moments in valiant effort to avoid having my picture taken.  I have mountains of photographs and video clips of my children but very few of them include me.  Looking at pictures like the one below, I understand why.  In this picture...I was already 30 pounds down from my highest weight so getting in front of the camera wasn't as hard as it had been.  Even now though, I look at my arms, my stomach, the insecure expression on my face and I wonder, when is it that we begin disliking our life in photographs?  

Surely it isn't when we're young.  Photos from infancy and childhood are often treasured memories.  Even in my early 20's, I'm okay with walking through my pictorial past.  So what was it?  When was it that we stopped wanting our photo taken?  For me, it's when my photographs became fatty-graphs and I could no longer hide the daily struggle I faced...an exhausting mental battle full of negative self-talk and an internal war with cravings and appetite that left me feeling completely out of control.  I was betraying my body on a daily basis and pictures were photojournalism for this battle...until there was victory, I wasn't ready to share it.

This is me then.

This is me now.

Forgive me if fatty-graph, fat, or any variation of the word offends you.  My blogging is wide open, full of candor, and if we're going to get honest about weight, well, fat is an appropriate description of where I've been and where some of you may be.  Fat doesn't have to undermine who you are just as skinny and thin don't elevate you beyond a certain place.  Fat is what I carried around for almost a decade and it's what I needed to lose in order to gain back a life I could feel good about.

So now that I've lost the weight I can tell you that life isn't perfect but it's certainly worth capturing and sharing.  As I continue in my weight loss/management efforts, I'm excited to bring this component of wellness and aesthetics to Rejuvalase Medspa in Stafford, Virginia.  Along with personal trainer and fitness guru, Laszlo Balazs, we'll give you the basics of balanced living, weight loss, and finding a life that is close to...picture perfect.  I'll continue to share advice, meal ideas and options, monthly spa specials, and my personal journeys as well as the success stories of those of you who join Rejuvalase's program.  I look forward to hearing from you on our discussion board and wish you health and a beautiful week.

Next week, I'll share how my struggles with post-partum depression began the start of my weight wars.